True love is nothing to be ashamed of.
Never in a million years did I think that I would be in a relationship like this. Not because my prince charming turned out to be a princess, but to love, whole heartedly, and receive the same love in return. I was lost in this world, looking for that missing puzzle shaped piece to my heart, and I have found her. FINALLY!
I fell in love once, on June 10, 2010 with a 8 lb. 6 oz. little boy. He was the most gorgeous little person I have ever seen. That is when I realized what true love was all about. I thought that feeling would never happen again, and then I saw her. Just like you “examine” your infant, I stared at her from her head to her toes. She had her hair in a perfect shaped mohawk, big, brown eyes, long envious eyelashes (that curl up on one side), and the most beautiful smile. Not to mention her confidence and awesome personality.
I would secretly look forward to every time I would get to see her. I made small talk just so she would give me that one moment of her time to talk back. I sat around my house for weeks with all kinds of emotions running through me. I did not know why I was having these feelings towards a woman, who I thought, barely even noticed me. I asked myself questions like, “What the hell are you doing Jessica?”, “Do you even know what to do with a woman?”, “Would you ever really date a woman?”, “What will your family think?” ,”How will this affect your child?” I wasn’t sure what I should do, but I am not the type of girl who lets someone good slip through my fingers.
One joke at a bar with our team, one video of me drunk and twerking on my car, and one simple Facebook message. That’s all it took. I stayed up all night and got 3 hours of sleep before work just to talk to her. Every text I sent her was carefully thought out. I sat there looking at my phone waiting for her response. Everytime my phone rang and I saw her name pop up, I had a huge smile on my face.
We planned a day to hang out, just a few drinks and a movie. You wouldn’t believe how nervous I was. I had butterflys in my stomach. And even though we have already met each other, it was like the first time. I remember what she looked like, how she smelled, the way she laughed, and even the comment she made about me sitting too far away from her on the couch. My best memories all started when she inched her hand over to mine and held my hand. Her hands were so soft and gentle. Three big glasses of Jack and Coke later and we were already getting ready for bed. I laid my head on her arm and just looked into those big, beautiful, brown eyes, and she leaned over and kissed me. Soft gentle kisses, full of so much passion and love.
I knew right then, that she was my future. She was sent to me in my darkest of times to lift me up and open my eyes to new things. She was the better future I hoped and prayed for. We both decided not to put a title on what we had because we were afraid it would mess it up. Neither of us really had a choice though. Eventually, the “I Like You” turned into an “I Love You” and the feelings we were having became too strong to ignore. We soon became unseperable. When I was away from her, all I wanted to do was come right back home and be in her arms.
All the questions I had asked myself disappeared and I knew in my heart that I could not let this girl go. I didn’t care about what my family or society would think, I gained a sense of confidence and strength just from her being around, and I realized that as long as I had her, I didn’t care what anyone else thought. I still don’t care what anyone else thinks. I am absolutly in love with this woman and I would gladly shout it on the freakin mountain if we had any mountains in south Florida.
Never miss out on an opportunity, if something feels good, just go with it. We have seen each other in our best of times, and we have seen each other in our worst of times. We argue just like every other couple, and yes, sometimes we want to rip each others heads off. We have seen each other cry hysterically, wiped tears, picked boogers, popped pimples, you name it, we have probably done it.
She fills my life with so much meaning and hope for a fantastic future for my son. EJ loves her just as much as I do and will look up to us. He will grow up and be one less kid raised in a world full of hate towards people different from him. He will have an open mind and will probably be liked by alot of people. He has my personality, looks, and attitude even, but he will have inherited all of Natalie’s good traits too. He will have her to coach him in baseball, and show him how to treat a lady. I couldn’t ask for more in my life.
I love you Natalie. I will continue to love you every day of my life. It is me and you forever baby. Forever and ever.